Bloody Gravity

2008-04-02T17:30:00.005+01:00

I'M STILL 'celebrating' this site's five year anniversary. The picture to the left shows one of the obvious high points of my journalistic career so far. I'm so enamoured that I feel it should reproduce the story from that day as it appeared in the paper (complete with terrible 'local-news-speak'...). The exact date will come back to me later. Just think: I might even get those free season

2008-03-24T10:17:00.004Z

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY!JUST a quick entry for any new friends of this site who may just be dipping their toes into the waters:This place was never really supposed to have a theme when I started out (back in the day this were all fields etc.) It was just meant to be somewhere for me to blather on about my experience of stuff and nonsense, anything that popped into the old noggin plus gubbins from the

2008-03-24T09:57:00.002Z

IT'S FINALLY happened. Chico Mendez and the Eling Allstars have gone live with their website, lovingly cobbled together by myself.Right now it's hosted on some free server or other so the address isn't as catchy as we'd like but it will very soon be moving to a permanent home (www.chicomendez.co.uk) just as soon as 'Mr Internet' (Carl) gets a few technical creases ironed out. Get your eyes and

2008-03-19T16:01:00.001Z

The BBC: Worth every penny of the license fee. I thought you would like this public interest reporting at its best:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7304452.stmThanks to Matthew (a.k.a. Flash!) for this one.

2008-03-18T12:14:00.001Z

Here are my thoughts on the Sport Relief mile at the weekend:What a load of cobblers. All I could see was a few hundred people pushing their kids around the park while the police looked on, happy in the knowledge that it was the softest double time they'd ever earned. I mean, it was hardly going to kick off was it? Worse than that I think it fosters the notion in people that they are doing some

2008-03-18T11:43:00.003Z

Lots to get through today but before we get to any of that, here's a little something about music, stupid Tories and that kind of stuff to keep you amused. Thankyou Jon Harris. And Paul Weller. (Just for the record, what's really odd about typing this at 'work' is that my employer blocks access to blogs or personal sites but I can still post entries, even if it is done in a bit of a rush. Work

2008-03-07T13:04:00.002Z

I've just seen a poster advertising 'international medium' Tony Stockwell's forthcoming appearance at Southampton Guildhall. You may not have heard of him if you don't watch Living TV, whatever the hell that is (apparently he's their resident hokus blokus or some such).I hadn't heard until I saw a recent flyer touting him as 'Britain's most accurate medium', a quote from the Daily Mail, no less.

2008-01-07T17:05:00.000Z

Bloody Gravity: It's not just there for the nasty things in life liked a blocked drain or a leaky roof; it's there for the nicer things too. (This means you'll have to wait for my article on new music...)Today marks the start of my latest project: I am about to unveil to the world (and myself) as a writer in possession of white-hot talent and the self-belief to realise that very talent to make

2008-01-07T16:57:00.001Z

We took these in Gmunden, Austria (Gabi's home town) in December 2007. Notice the indoor shot and how Gabi has clearly studied my 'look wistfully across the camera' from other photo opportunities. I will look into how to patent a look, and indeed if this is even possible.

2008-01-07T16:46:00.001Z

At the Natural History Museum, London, November 2007. These will be good in the autobiography.

2007-12-10T19:02:00.000Z

WHEN there's such a long gap between posts, the writer exposes himself (or herself, but in this case himself, as I am a gentleman rather than a lady) to the risk of losing what little audience they once had. That's where we are. But I refuse to be daunted. Actually what's more daunting is the thought that I should probably use this platform to fill everyone in about what I've been up to all these

2007-11-18T20:00:00.000Z

Crikey, that's some gap between posts. I must have been really busy or something.Moving on, here's something for anyone out there who is nonplussed by Facebook and all those other sites that make you realise how antisocial you've become: Hatebook. Probably just as annoying but I love a good backlash. Right, back to ignoring everyone now.

2007-04-22T11:23:00.000+01:00

2007-04-16T13:56:00.000+01:00

Well worth your time, music lovers... local (although what that means in the age of the internet, I don't know) gentleman with bags of talent, Oliver Talkes at Sirius in Bournemouth.

2007-03-27T08:14:00.000+01:00

I feel I should bring to your attention the wonderful blog of 'friend of this site' Mr Jonny Gardner and his 5-a-side football team. The match reports are certainly worth a read, although I can do without the photos of injuries at this time of the morning. Perhaps I should think about getting up later.Tell them I sent you.

2007-03-11T14:59:00.000Z

Chico Mendez & The Eling AllstarsLadies and Gentlemen! It is my pleasure to announce the arrival of Chico Mendez and The Eling Allstars' myspace page.Join the party. Catch the fever. I said catch the fever!

2007-02-21T18:08:00.000Z

2007-02-15T12:18:00.000Z

As promised, normal service is resumed.There's a new track from the Kings of Leon on myspace (well, not mine but you know what I mean) and it sounds pretty damn good to me. Will probably divide a few people but the album should be worth a punt.I discovered them.

2007-02-13T15:21:00.000Z

READ ALL ABOUT IT. PLEASE.Before I can move forward into my (not so) brave future there’s a few things I need to get off my chest. As I am unable to pay for any sort of meaningful or worthwhile therapy (assuming such a thing even exists – with apologies to my brilliant psychology graduate girlfriend, for whom I should make an interesting case study) this may turn out to be the best tool I have at

2007-01-13T13:08:00.000Z

A cautionary tale.Something worth reading for all you smokers out there.

2007-01-08T19:58:00.000Z

To your right is a picture of me taken a few years ago when I had orange Gola trainers and a skinny jumper with red stripes down the arms (the collar is in fact quite accurate). Oh, and a massive left hand, which is much better now, thanks for asking.On a completely unrelated note, enjoy the the most recent extract from Charlie Brooker's Ignopedia. Continuing our uniquely unreliable

2007-01-08T19:45:00.000Z

What do Beanz Meanz? Another from the Oxford Street store.

2007-01-08T19:27:00.000Z

This one speaks for itself (apart from to say that it was taken in a shop at the top of Oxford Street that was occupied by some odd and occasionally brilliant satirical art. Is there such a thing? Screwed if I know what to call it but that Banksy chap had something to do with it, you know the fella. I read that there was a message about the disappearing spirit of Christmas in the face of the

2007-01-08T19:16:00.000Z

A very impressive slide at in the Turbine Hall at Tate Modern. We rode from the fifth floor. Strange sounds escaped from me without my bidding.Apparently the fourth floor slide is faster - with a much longer queue - but I went after Mark Kermode (he refused the bump cap offered; mine fell off half way down - I suspect his greasy 'duck's arse' hairstyle lubricated the slide ahead of my turn) and

2007-01-08T19:11:00.000Z

Just doing my bit.

2007-01-08T19:10:00.000Z

Next, our heroes mug it up for the camera in fine, half-arsed style. It was becoming apparent that we were unlikely that night to stumble upon a photo that shone a light on our inner artists, although to be fair it does say 'nicely toasted' quite eloquently. It'd probably look better cropped. But I digress.

2007-01-08T18:41:00.000Z

Welcome back. I thought it was about time I got some new photos up here, including some of me and the band. So here we are.First, we see Damian, Pete and Jeff decorated with icing sugar from some Turkish Delight that was knocking around. The adornment was my idea. I thought it would imbue us with even greater musical powers than usual and create an image worthy of our creative fury. We had

2006-10-18T18:55:00.000+01:00

Remember that ad with the bouncing balls and the Jose Gonzales soundtrack? Here's the follow up, should you be interested. It appears that it's not done with CGI but real environmentally friendly paint. This means I'm going to have to apologise to those with whom I've argued that the bouncing balls from the previous ad were made on a computer (or computers) because they were real too. I am even

2006-10-18T08:27:00.000+01:00

Comedy in the newsI haven't got time to comment on this article from the creator of Alan Partridge (and friend of this page) because I have to go to work. But it's well worth your effort.

2006-10-16T19:18:00.000+01:00

In the newsTroops in Afghanistan take the high ground.OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet-high marijuana plants. General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said on Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response,

2006-10-14T14:07:00.000+01:00

2006-10-14T14:04:00.000+01:00

2006-10-14T13:21:00.000+01:00

Boom, boom, boom, boom.That's better. Here we are, apparently on the brink of armageddon once again, just like the good old days. As if we haven't got enough to worry about. Still, lots of interesting stuff on the subject here for your reading pleasure. Wikipedia's entry on nuclear warfare is worth a look. In the spurious interests of balance I should direct you to these 'facts' refuting the

2006-10-04T20:27:00.000+01:00

More YouTube goodies, this time from Adam Buxton, who is part of Adam and Joe. He's the Adam part and his site has some amusing stuff on it. I'd say 'content' but that makes it sound like McDonalds. It's much more DIY and none the worse for that. He's recently done some really funny features on Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe on BBC4 which has me laughing until I have to stop, or something less

2006-10-03T17:05:00.000+01:00

Afternoon!This afternoon's offering comes from that notorious time-gobbler YouTube, from the mind of the always-brilliant Armando Ianucci. (I apologise if this first draft spelling is wrong, although I very much doubt he'll be reading. In fact, as an aside, I think I've finally worked out what this blog is for. Let's face it, the paucity of comments means even the loyal few have deserted me.

2006-09-26T16:38:00.001+01:00

REVIEW: Monsieur Ibrahim and the Flowers of the Qu'ranThe new season at Southampton's Nuffield theatre is out of the starting blocks. Last week Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt's whimsical play Monsieur Ibrahim and the Flowers of the Qu'ran (translated from the French original by Patricia Benecke and Patrick Driver) made a welcome appearance after a successful run in Edinburgh and London. Moses (James

2006-09-25T15:31:00.000+01:00

REVIEW: Concrete Jungle Boogie (08-07-06) Jools Holland’s Rhythm and Blues Orchestra rolled their wagons into Southampton Common, the great expanse of green in the heart of the concrete jungle, on Saturday night. And what a night it was. Damian Cook was in the middle of it. Arriving at the Common, the set-up seemed terribly civilised. Picnics abounded and a genuine festival atmosphere

2006-09-22T12:25:00.000+01:00

Friday Round-UpLet's have a round-up, shall we? So much culture to share, of both the high and low varieties (OK, just low then and therefore NOT SAFE FOR WORK!). How about this affectionate tribute to the action comics of my youth to start off? Be warned: some of the language contained renders this NOT SAFE FOR WORK as I mentioned earlier. It is funny though. In a childish way.A blog entry about

2006-09-21T12:58:00.000+01:00

REVIEW: The Cult @ Southampton Guildhall 19-09-06 Cards on the table time before we get started: The Cult were one of my favourite bands when I was growing up, a process that I should admit is still very much ‘ongoing’. So it was with no little excitement that I greeted the news that they were playing in my home town after years apart. I may be well into my thirties now but I still have

2006-09-19T11:25:00.000+01:00

COMMENT: Let me get this straight... #1. Pope makes speach appealing to reason and nonviolence... uses a quote that is probably not the smartest to use. #2. Muslims take his quotes out of context and get angry because they think he called them and their prophet violent.... #3. So to prove everyone wrong... they carry around signs calling for muslims to "behead those" that insult them... and

2006-09-13T16:28:00.000+01:00

Bestival 2006: Episode IV: some hopeThe last hurrah of the summer was for me the only hurrah of the summer. For that reason and others Bestival 2006 was going to be a weekend with no barriers. Early in the day it appeared that - subconsciously at least – I intended to apply this maxim to the letter when I very nearly crashed the car into a barrier in a supermarket car park in Newport. Still,

2006-09-12T17:35:00.000+01:00

Bestival 2006!It's been a long, tiring weekend but a blooming marvellous one all the same. So much to tell, so little energy with which to tell it. So, while you wait for the definitive guide to the highlights of the weekend's festivities (I'm piecing it together slowly) why don't we let some pictures do the talking? I wish I'd taken a lot more but I was having too much fun to trudge to the press

2006-09-05T12:40:00.000+01:00

Crikey! Here's a little extract from Germaine Greer writing in the Guardian. Beauty! "What Irwin never seemed to understand was that animals need space. The one lesson any conservationist must labour to drive home is that habitat loss is the principal cause of species loss. There was no habitat, no matter how fragile or finely balanced, that Irwin hesitated to barge into, trumpeting his wonder

2006-08-30T08:54:00.000+01:00

In pursuit of outlaw coolWhen music has become so heavily branded and effort-free, it's no wonder illegal raves are backAlexis PetridisWednesday August 30, 2006The Guardian There is a certain glorious serendipity about the illegal rave scene once more rearing its unkempt head at the same time as the Carling Weekend

2006-08-26T13:28:00.000+01:00

Nachos: the king of healthy bar snacks. Could I have more melted cheese with that? Marvellous.

2006-08-26T13:25:00.000+01:00

Ice on a barbecue? Perfectly normal and great for giving your drinks that smoky flavour. I'm hoping the phrase 'ice on a barbecue' will become as popular as 'snakes an a plane'. Actually, that's already getting tiring. And this is getting random.

2006-08-26T13:22:00.000+01:00

Here is Southampton's Mayflower park at sunset. There is a distinct lack of places where you can get near the waterside in the city. This is one of them.

2006-08-26T13:13:00.000+01:00

Imitations of lifeHow's that for a pretentious title for a post which contains nothing more that a few pictures taken at random junctures on my mobile phone/camera/thought control and tracking device (a Sony Ericsson K750i as it happens, technology fans). On the left you'll see how I am categorised on iTunes. 'Great' didn't appear in any of the drop-down menus so I added it myself. Nobody was

2006-08-22T15:43:00.000+01:00

Shocking entertainment newsLots to get through today so let's get started. Regular readers will know that I'm not particularly taken with the way our culture has become bogged down with 'celebrity' and 'news as entertainment' and 'lowest common denominator'. After all, this is a serious blog for serious people. OK, you got me there. I admit, I did watch a fair bit of Big Brother this time round.

2006-08-18T12:19:00.000+01:00

Newspaper columnist speaks on my behalf When I first read this it was like seeing my own thoughts written down by someone else. Spooky. Have a look and let me know what you think. Is it just me and him? I'd like to think not.

2006-08-17T15:05:00.000+01:00

The soon-to-be-world-famous Unsafe Walls sketch

2006-08-17T12:54:00.000+01:00

I know what you're thinking: this page is looking great and has finally arrived in the 21st Century. As much as I'd grown to love the old DIY monstrosity I decided it was time for a makeover, especially if I am to welcome a whole new band of readers soon to be siphoned off from the new asanga and anderson website which went live yesterday (went live... that sounds important. If the web isn't

2006-08-16T15:05:00.000+01:00

First post from me in a while for reasons I won't go into now (and if I'd kept this updated I wouldn't need to anyway. Still...) Today I want to use this page to announce the launch of asangaandanderson.com, the latest venture from some good friends of these pages. I put the site together so I am really just blowing my own trumpet and while they're in Edinburgh (it's festival time after all)

2006-07-06T09:23:00.000+01:00

What follows wasn't written by me but it sums up my opinion on last night's semi final. No sour grapes intended as I don't believe England were good enough to win anyway. Hate mail to the usual address, you poor deluded fools. France 1 v Portugal 0 A terrible game of football in terms of quality. An excellent game in terms of the result. Portugal have, yet again, demonstrated what they are: a

2006-05-20T12:52:00.000+01:00

Do yourself a favour and get over to myspace, ignoring any preconceived notions you may have and download the two songs available on the Gracie page. It's damn good music, but you won't need me to tell you that.You still here?

2006-05-19T19:04:00.000+01:00

BBC2: The nice lady introduces a programme that promises to explore the issue of, and I quote: "How the digital revolution will change the way we buy music forever."Wow. As if, a few years down the line (presumably when mankind is once again tilling the fields in some post-cataclismic, agrarian era, doubtless the result of post-war greed etc.) people are going to decide to go back to buying

2006-05-13T14:34:00.000+01:00

2006-05-02T22:31:00.000+01:00

Go here.

2006-05-01T14:30:00.000+01:00

(I wonder if Ken gets many requests...)With apologies for my prolonged absence from these pages (I have been making real life newspapers that people read) allow me to direct you to the often well-written Pitchfork, in particular this amusing feature about bad album covers. Music, culture and humour - I give you these gifts with a few humble keystrokes.Slightly worrying is how the author views

2006-04-18T20:31:00.000+01:00

Continuing with today's cheery theme, I ran a search on the Chinese version of Google, which you may recall was widely reported as being subject to censorship when it launched. I believe it was a deal whereby Google got a foothold in China and the Chinese government were seen to be allowing wider adoption of the internet, providing the searches didn't throw up anything portraying the

2006-04-18T18:16:00.000+01:00

In the absence of any real enthusiasm for much today (probably due to the post-Bank Holiday blues - you know how it is) all I can suggest is that you sign up and contribute to this forum, started by a good friend of this page. At the moment its founder is set on it being all about Photoshop and related gubbins (one of his latest passions) and while he may not thank me for this I think we can take

2006-04-12T12:20:00.000+01:00

It's getting towards that time of year when I start to see the appeal of going outside again. Admittedly, I am sat indoors as I compose this with blinds to protect me from the sun's deadly radiation. Hurrah for Spring and, believe it or not, there's quite a lot to do and see in the coming months. So 'why don't you' check out (public service blogging, that's what I'm about. Today...) the EAT

2006-04-11T09:46:00.000+01:00

Here's a piece on the revival of class snobbery from today's Guardian that I found interesting. You may too. I have a few things I'd like to add when it comes to this particular subject, being white and working class and all that. Perhaps I'll add my comments later.While I'm in a linking mood, have a look at the latest post on the Introspective Superstring (great name; loopy posting).

2006-04-01T18:37:00.000+01:00

Here's a review I wrote for a newspaper based in Winchester. I took the picture too. Multi-talented.

2006-03-27T19:10:00.000+01:00

I learned a new phrase today: Tabula rasa which is Latin for 'empty canvas' or 'clean slate'. I intend to use it very soon. Meanwhile, feel free to use the space below for your own musings.

2006-03-25T14:03:00.000Z

'The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles'. Jack Kerouac A couple of weeks ago I had a review published in a local newspaper. I was excited to get something in print, as you can

2006-03-24T12:04:00.000Z

Today's link round-upAs is often the case, I had no idea what to post here today so I have decided on a whistle-stop tour of loads of other people's links. First up is aintitcool which is a site for people who like movies and TV way too much. I found that while browsing the Not BBC comedy forum. More than one person has introduced themself to me as a 'comedy historian' or some similar pretentious

2006-03-23T15:26:00.000Z

There hasn't been much activity here the last few days. For which I am profoundly sorry. As it goes I have been spending a bit of time making music, sweet music (at least that's what it is to these ears...), knowing that next week I'll be at work using up all my energy trying to stay upbeat. Actually, I've been shamelessly ripping off Dave Gilmour's guitar playing (that's the bloke from Pink

2006-03-20T13:04:00.000Z

In a changed to the published schedule, I have a few things to get through today. In no particular order...Can anyone explain to me the bewildering 'success' of 'Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps' on BBC3? I say 'success' because it keeps getting recommissioned so someone must be watching it. Just a glimpse of a trailer makes me nauseous so how anybody can subject themselves to a whole 30

2006-03-19T11:09:00.001Z

Well, that was the thing that was. The inaugural Spoofworld award(s) ceremony. And what a fun time (no pun intended) we had, with Badman the deserving winner. Some of us think he should think about pursuing his rediscovered passion for all things art and design further. Well, I do at least.The ceremony was enjoyed by all, with fine hospitality provided by Mr Rogers and amusing banter courtesy of

2006-03-16T14:06:00.000Z

Here's another of my creative Photoshop efforts. A variation on a theme, I'm sure you'll notice, but this puts me in with a chance of winning Carl's competition (head to Spoofworld if you want to find out more) with a combination of quality, original ideas and quantity. The stakes have been raised. No doubt Mark will come back fighting unless I can spill some beer on his computer later this

2006-03-15T09:07:00.000Z

A couple of things to point you towards today: first up is Google Mars which is similar to Google Earth but slightly less useful. Still quite amazing in my opinion (which, as I have said before, is what you get here). The first person to spot the wreckage of the Beagle thingy that crashed there a couple of Christmases ago wins the admiration of his or her friends and a signed Busted CD single.

2006-03-13T16:36:00.000Z

Oh how I would have loved to have been there to witness this meeting of minds. The great statesman, hero to a generation, promoter of civil rights, pushing for expansion at the very frontiers of freedom. And Nelson Mandela.

2006-03-13T16:25:00.000Z

Who's the king now, Kong? Who's the daddy?

2006-03-09T11:15:00.000Z

In the spirit of shameless self-promotion as made possible by the internet it is my pleasure to direct you towards CookieSounds. Admittedly I didn't have a clue what MySpace was until a few weeks ago. In fact, I'm still not entirely up-to-speed as you'll surely notice when you see how little content is on my page. I am aware that Rupert Murdoch has bought myspace so that he can market directly to

2006-03-09T10:03:00.000Z

Another image courtesy of Carl. Me as Hellraiser? Those days are long gone I'm afraid. There will be no souls torn apart, at least not on my shift.

2006-03-09T09:55:00.000Z

Look out for this book in all good bookstores. And probably a few bad ones as well. Sorry, scratch that: it doesn't exist.

2006-03-06T12:37:00.000Z

Another day on the job hunting trail characterized by the usual early morning enthusiasm souring into a despondency that has come to define Monday mornings. Still, plenty to be cheerful about as Badman (his choice of monicker) finally makes his presence felt online with some of his Photoshop madness. As with previous entries (see Spoofworld) it appears I am on the wrong end of some of these

2006-03-04T13:02:00.000Z

2006-03-03T20:51:00.000Z

2006-03-03T11:58:00.000Z

Another one from Spoofworld. Yes, another plug. All sponsorship gladly received.

2006-03-03T11:45:00.000Z

A certain Mr Carl Rogers has finally spilled some of the questionable contents of his brain on to the worldwide web for all to see. Stare blankly into the face of madness with a visit to SPOOFWORLD. See for yourself. I am displaying one of his images to prove my utter lack of vanity as well as to demonstrate his Jedi-like grasp of Photoshop. Hopefully he will pay me to say the last bit.

2006-02-25T11:16:00.000Z

In my never ending quest to bring you the funniest material I feel I must recommend Holy Moly. Lots of rage and very funny with it. That's the spirit. In fact, I find it strangely inspirational, so much that I am considering starting a new blog filled with swearing. As we all know, swearing IS big AND clever. I'll keep you posted.Meanwhile, in order that this page holds you gaze for more than

2006-02-17T15:35:00.000Z

2006-02-11T10:21:00.000Z

Today I'd like to direct you to Mediawatchwatch which will be useful to anyone out there who doesn't know what to make of the whole 'Danish cartoons depicting some bloke with a beard and a turban in compromising positions (or something) which upset a bunch of fanatics gentle followers of Islam' debate. If you want my take on it (and let's face it: that's what you get here) the argument goes

2006-01-24T17:44:00.000Z

Highlight below to read:Do you think you’re some kind of fucking Renaissance man just because you’ve got a few ostensibly creative applications and a shitload of money to spend on hi-tech gadgetry? Do you have any idea how many other fuckheads all over the world are, right this very minute, using precisely the same technology to produce precisely the same pedestrian results as you? Why don’t you

2006-01-24T13:15:00.000Z

Three years of patchy posting to this here blog and a theme is finally emerging. Hurrah! It seems I spend far too much time trawling the internet for things to make me smile. By this I mean comedy in all its rich and varied forms, not what ever you were thinking. When I find them I often end up sticking them in the links list here, mainly so I can find them again. Yeah, I know you have favourites

2006-01-23T15:51:00.000Z

I can hear it now... "You're not going to get a top drawer CV out to potential employers by playing with Photoshop all day, are you?"Perhaps not. But it'll be fun trying.

2006-01-21T18:38:00.000Z

Enough messing around already. In case anybody is interested here's a couple of reviews of the new Richard Ashcroft album (the website is one of those annoying affairs where everything is coming soon...). Both make for mildly amusing reading. I still like the album all the same.Independent Friday January 20, 2006Guardian Friday January 20, 2006This looks like a good feature on the same

2006-01-21T12:44:00.000Z

Now that I am the proud owner of a motorized vehicle I guess it's time to learn a little about how to look after the damn thing. This, I have discovered, involves more than emptying the ashtray, kicking the tyres to see if they are squashy and having a quick look to make sure all the panels are stuck to the body in the right places.

2006-01-20T08:52:00.000Z

All about podcasts.

2006-01-18T12:42:00.000Z

Today we have something educational. No, don't run away. It's The Most Popular Myths In Science. Mostly interesting, although I never believed for a moment that 'Animals can predict natural disasters'. See what you think.

2006-01-17T19:42:00.000Z

Spoof signs that are good for a laugh. Here.

2006-01-11T13:00:00.000Z

A slight departure from the norm today as I am on a one-man campaign to cripple an insurance company that recently stung me. I will endevour, as always, to avoid swearing on this page although it's proving a tough task where these fools are concerned. Sorry, I meant fuckers.Here's a little sample of what I sent them today:By now I am sure you are aware that I am less than overwhelmed by the

2006-01-05T12:08:00.000Z

2006-01-05T12:04:00.000Z

And the winner is...

2005-12-31T13:03:00.000Z

On a more relevant note... By Guardian Unlimited / UK news 01:01pm Any smoker intent on quitting on New Year’s Day should think again, writes Hélène Mulholland. Don’t take it from me but heed the words issued by Ash, the lobby group set up to stop everyone from lighting up. It doesn’t appear to be a case of paradoxical intervention either. They remind us that New Year can be stressful

2005-12-31T12:52:00.000Z

It's New Year's Eve!Up at the crack of noon and what better way to start the day than with a cold beer, cooked breakfast and a leisurely trawl through the archives of Satire Wire? I can't name one off the top of my head so I'll stick to what I know.Here's a little of what they have (or had as it's not updated any longer) to offer: 85 Percent of Nation's 2.9 Million JoblessSay They're Not Just

2005-12-28T15:22:00.000Z

2005-12-28T01:13:00.000Z